Cutter
Well-known member
Having rallied with the Miners, coerced with the tempting offer of fedoras or out right paid off hobos to vote with thanks to Crom Dom for his pyramid scheme support, I was finally voted into power with a will to change this town, even just a little in a more suitable, yellow direction.
Soon after I was out meeting the people of the town, and after having a tour of the Mayors offices and a short drive to the surrounding area ending up in Athira. We decided it best to visit the NHS while we're here and show the Mayors support for their work
And after a slight accident with some stairs, and Al being shot on said stairs, we were met with the squealing excitable voice that could only have been the Minister herself, Stephanie. We decided to offer the Minister a lift back to Athira in the Mayors limo, convoyed by my new security force, manned by my trusty fellow Miners. It was certainly eventful, but I will always feel sorry for my security team in the car at the time, no amount of wall in the middle of the Limo will rid them of the nightmares they probably suffer now. Prepare, to cringe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn7sIxJCRJI
One of my first orders of duty once back in Kavala, after a nights rest to give time for the sores to clear up, and for Al to hose down the Mayors limo, was to deal with the rising hobo population. We decided to acquire one of the Marmite Miners homes, which happened to be right on Kavala square and turned it into a homeless shelter, handing out food and fedoras to those in need. It was a roaring success, keeping hobos fed, happy and looking pretty damn sharp in their fedoras. Some may say it was a worthless aesthetic change giving hobos fedoras, but as Mayor I believe every change begins with looking with looking classy as fuck.
It wasn't long after before I had my second run in with the Minister, I wasn't to know at the time that this event would revealed to me the true, darker nature of the Minister and the inner corruption of the police force itself. It all began with a simple plea for help. (unfortunately I didn't take the picture of the messages until much later)
After about 20 minutes of dicking about in Kavala, with more help for the homeless at our Kavala shelter, we decided it was about time we actually went and saw what the hell the Minister was talking about. Upon arriving at the scene we found the Minister in quite a state, stripped naked with a cucumber in her bum. We didn't at the time question as to why this was, after our first meeting I simply assumed this was just another day for the Minister, and so I quickly removed the cucumber, using only my mouth to the applaud of my fellows. Stephanie did not seem so appreciative of my actions, and immediately set about trying to steal the Mayor mobile. Not amused by this act I decided to call the police, who arrived to find us chasing the naked Minister Stephanie around an industrial complex, with quick thinking I jumped into an unmanned police car to chase her down and have her arrested for the crimes of touching my precious limo, only to have the police turn on us and open fire.
Soon after we were being interviewed at the scene by Inspector Gazalad, who I'm quite sure was a wizard but I didn't care mention that to him, in fear of invoking his wizard wrath, but it may have all just been the small dose of heroin I had consumed before this all started. They did not seem at all pleased about my acquisition of the police vehicle, or that my men were openly carrying large caliber rifles for my protection.
We were taken back to the Athira police HQ to have a long chat about what had proceeded at the industrial complex just out side of Athira, We soon hear the sobbing of Minister Stephanie, her tears caressing the police to her point of view. The police then started charging me with the rape of the Minister, something I had not done, but alas it was too late, for her womanly claws had already set into their way of thinking, and they had no time to listen to my or any of my mens views on the situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuH0YZFPZJc&feature=youtu.be
After a lengthy argument in my defense, all of which fell on deaf ears of the corrupt police, set to ambient background noise of warbling tears, I was jailed for a crime I did not commit.
As soon as I was released from my short jail term, which was more a sign that I should bow to the police and ministers corrupt ways, and to besmirch my good image as mayor than any real sentence, I was met with the police force who had imprisoned me, just to let me know how much power I really had. With my associates and some fellow rebels at my side I vowed to expose their corrupt ways, not knowing yet if I even had the power in my office to even do that.
With the charges behind me, and thankfully very little publicity on the topic, I set out to once again my Kavala a better place. I found a gentleman called Simon setting up a speed reduction zone at the zebra crossing near the centre of town. Only a few minutes later the police turned up to removed the illegally placed barriers which were slowing down traffic. I felt that the work of this man had been for a very good cause and marched on down to the Police HQ with the intention of getting it reinstated.
Not long after we had police on the scene to help us setup the zone again, and Kavala was a safer place, if not for another rebellious man who could not seem to work out how the speed reduction zone worked, and consistently drove around in circles at one end convinced that that is what the arrow direction signs were telling him he should be doing. He did also have quite an odd sense of fashion, fortunately the police were on hand to keep him from injuring himself.
Now, I'm not sure if what happened next was an act of terrorism, prehaps some accursed spell gone wrong by the aforementioned wizards this town is apparently plagued by, or perhaps I was just once again high as balls, but there were certainly some strange incidents taking place...
Later the next day I was called to the scene of a hostage negotiation situation at the gun store just north of Kavala, apparently some men, whom I had no connection with, had taken prisoner an off duty police officer and were demanding berets for his return. Which, I believe was at least quite a fair offer, but the police force were being no less than stingy with their supply of hats, and negotiation turned into haggling. In the end, the hostage takers got 4 berets per man, but apparently one of their hostages jumped out of their chopper to their death, leaving them with far less berets than they had wished, but at least it came to a peaceful conclusion which is all I could wish for.
As this incident came to a close, I was whisked off by the police to an apparent riot which had broken out outside the Kavala HQ, they were protesting the rising crime and lack of police response as citizens who were attempting to make an honest living. A honorable complaint I could most certainly feel empathy towards.
We managed to talk down the men into having a civilised debate inside the Police HQ, where we had a long talk about how the police force reacts to crime, and what they could do better to enforce the law and protect the honest citizens we had making their complaints heard here on the day. We also came to the very important conclusion that Scarlet lizard most definitely has the sexiest man voice on the police force.
Apparently my attempt to crack down on crime, in the most subtle way possible with civilised debate, did not go unheard through out the rebel groups of Altis, and I was soon harassed in my own office by a group of armed men. My security forces were soon able to chase them off the scene just as a single officer arrived as back up, who was kind enough to stay in the area and watch over the offices in case they returned. And they soon did return, unfortunately the men were masked and I didn't recognise them as we went into my office to have a polite chat about politics something I couldn't refuse in my standing, when one of the men from before entered the room, unmasked and I recognised him I sounded the alarm, they were again chased off the premises with the lone officer in pursuit, he was unfortunately gunned down just outside my office in an unnecessary and senseless murder leading to a large scale investigation into his death around my offices. As I gave the officers at the scene information on what had happened, I noticed a man, it was the same man who had came into my office unmasked. He was quickly arrested and detained. Upon positively being identified by myself and my security forces he was sent to jail. I can rest knowing the officer was at least not gunned down completely in vain and that one violent criminal was put away from a long time.
After the stress of witnessing a murder and a threat against my own life, I decided to do the only think a man could do, have a beer and gamble from the machines which had been installed in my offices for some reason. While I didn't believe they were really appropriate equipment for a mayors office, I wasn't in the mood to really complain too much.
The next day I went out with a positive attitude that I wouldn't be brutally murdered, and listened to the talk of the people at the newly built Kavala stage.
Later that day I put into action my plan to ease the tension between rebels and the police by setting up an Amnesty, allowing rebels to hand in guns without question in return for pardon for their crimes. It led to quite a few people turning up to hand in large caliber weapons, and while it wasn't as popular as I had hoped I at least consider the few weapons that were handed in a success. A few less weapons on the streets, and possibly a few people with a chance to turn over a new leaf and go down the straight and narrow path of a legal life. I also must applaud the police for supporting this cause.
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