This is an emotional subject for some, and we've given this a great deal of thought over many years, and have returned to it multiple times recently as we've become a more 'mature' community. It's also a fact of our evolution, and the changeover to FiveM, that more women have joined us, so we continue to review this point and will do most likely indefinitely.
However, we must remember that rape is not simply a '
trauma that happens only to women', and we need to be extremely sensitive not to end up being sexist
either way as we address this topic as sensibly and as sensitively as we can.
Nobody here at RPUK condones any form of IRL rape that is non-consensual, and if you're here to get your jollies engaging in oppressive, one-sided, non-consensual rape when told to stop, you'll be banned immediately.
However, let me be quite clear. Currently on this server already,
rape is the only form of roleplayed violent activity on this server that is granted the ability for players to call a stop to it OOC and expect it to end, instantly, if it arises and is suggested in the course of RP.
Note that this same 'get-out clause' is
not granted to roleplayed acts of murder, theft, shooting, mutilation, torture, kidnapping, ramming or driving over with vehicles, pushing out of planes, pushing off of cranes, or any other of the horrible, violent, disgusting, antisocial, murderous, foul things that people do to each other
routinely in roleplay, without so much as batting an eyelid.
It would be ludicrous and hypocritical to suggest that one form of deadly or life-changingly traumatic roleplay is unacceptable, while quite clearly, so many other forms are actually a key part of the experience that
every single player here gets stuck into, at some point or another, as a normal part of living their escapist character-lives or enacting high drama and acting their socks off. It is vitally important that we retain some perspective.
The only form of violent RP we absolutely shun and ban immediately on sight, is anything deadly or sexual involving children/minors.
I think we can all agree that there is absolutely no way that form of activity can ever be considered 'mutually consensual' by both sides. However (and thank goodness), this kind of scenario should
never be a thing here due to our player age-restrictions - there should never be any minors here anyway - but we would still not tolerate it even if an adult was roleplaying as a minor in the server. I don't think any of us would disagree with that hard line on this particular flavour of violent RP - but if you do, please leave the community.
Currently,
all other forms of roleplay are 'fair game', because we are a Serious Roleplay server and community, and we aim to allow all sorts of 'high drama' as well as violent conflict. If you have a problem with that, or are at risk of being traumatised by such topics, you should not be here. You
will most likely encounter various forms of violent activity, either received or given, and almost all of them are most definitely 'illegal out of the city', but we roleplay them here. It's whatdo. We are
acting in an interactive movie/TV Show/videogame artform.
That said, it is important to know the limits, and what we will tolerate when it comes to what is, for most people , the 'most heinous of heinous crimes':
rape, and its sibling:
sexual harassment.
IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU:
Let me re-explain the best-practice 'get-out' approach, for situations where someone requests/threatens/indicates
an upcoming sexual activity (whether violent or not), that you do not wish to participate in:
- OOC STOP - Call for it to stop in OOC chat. If possible give the other party's session ID (gained via the /sessionheads command or using the keybind for RPUK ID CHECK - details here: https://wiki.roleplay.co.uk/GTA:FAQ). Making your request to stop/signalling your non-consent in OOC means we can check logs later and confirm that (in the event that you had to leave the server and someone's made a combat-log report against you) we can see you had adequate reason to quit pre-emptively, and that you called out the other party clearly to stop, and no action will be taken against you for the alleged combat-log.
- /me STOP - Because some players have their OOC chat turned off, back up that demand to stop with a /me message that repeats it quite clearly as an OOC instruction to stop. These /me interactions are not logged, so do not rely on them alone to give heads-ups to staff, or protect you from counter-claims of combat-log. Do both, unless it is clear that the other party saw and responded appropriately to method 1 above.
- TICKET/CALL STAFF - If the other party continues to press for this kind of unwanted sexual roleplay, and doesn't look like stopping, open a ticket if you can. Give as much information as possible, but we do appreciate it is likely to be 'in the moment' of a high-pressure situation, and may not be fully coherent at that stage. Just get something on record, a ticket opened, so we know what's going on, even if only from a follow-up position later. If staff are available, they will attempt to take action in-game as quickly as possible, to bring the situation to an end, by whatever method is necessary at the time (including warning, kicking or banning the other party, or temporarily removing both parties, if the situation warrants it).
- VIDEO - If you have video evidence for any of the encounter, save it and keep it for future reference. It will once again help in the event you need to counter any vexatious 'combat log' allegation against you, and it will also (of course) assist staff in determining whether the other party was being unreasonable and breaking rules by attempting to continue.
- QUIT - If necessary, and if no help arrives in time, or the situation gets too much, and the other party is not stopping, just quit. Get off the server and take a break, and if you can, write up as much as you can recall and prep your video if you have one.
Remember that NONE of those actions above are REQUIREMENTS.
They're just helpful if you can squeeze them in, if time and the situation allows. It may not always be the case. Item 5 is
always an option, but of course it is way more helpful to us - and you - if you've taken the preceding steps beforehand, because it stops idiots revenge-reporting you for combat-log quite so easily. But if it comes down to it, and the unwanted sexual RP situation is not stopping, and it's the only way you can cope,
just get out of there. Let us know as soon as you can, preferably by ticket rather than the forum report (
tickets are more private and less embarrassing for some), so we can pick up the pieces together afterwards, and take the
right action.
One word of warning: do not rely on telling someone just BY VOICE that you don't want this sexual RP.
Why? Because in-game, your voice is
your character's voice. It's almost always going to be the case that your character is not going to want this encounter, in terms of plotline, but you may be acting a scene, and the other party may not realise whether you mean the STOP order
in or out of character. If you want out,
do it in OOC and /me - repeatedly if you have to. Remember that OOC is the only one that is logged, but might not be seen. Keep calm, if you can. Pull the plug if you have to.
We will stand by you afterwards.
IF YOU'RE THE INITIATOR:
People who pursue any sort of 'rape RP' or sexual RP against the wishes of another person when told to stop in OOC or /me, will be banned, permanently.
The above should make it perfectly clear how anyone - male or female - can bring about an end to any unwanted sexual roleplay, and have the full backing of the server-admins to do whatever they need to do, to get clear of it.
You absolutely do not have to be involved in sexual RP if you do not wish to be, and absolutely nobody can make you.
There remains one final group of situations worth clarifying...
consensual sexual RP.
If you and another party wish to engage in sexual RP (whether purely for drama, or partly for drama + OOC fun), and both sides are 100% consenting, then it's nobody's business but your own. As long as you're doing it in a private area, or away from other people, and as long as you're aware that you might be observed, or even held accountable in RP (e.g. arrested by LS Police for indecency in a public place, etc) then it's your shout. We are not an Erotic Roleplay server, but we'd be kidding ourselves if we said it never happened. We're a 'Life' server, and sex is part of life, so it's bound to occur when couples (of any orientation) make RP (or even IRL) romantic links with each other. Just be smart about it. Anyone doing stuff that would be classed as 'indecent in public' IRL, in an area with known observers or considered a public place, will likely fall foul of City Laws and get arrested in-game - all in roleplay.
Anyone
observing such a thing unintentionally, or having it thrust on them (e.g. two people deciding to get it on in a public place near them, without warning) has the
same options as above for unwanted sexual RP. They can call for it to stop OOC/me, or they can leave the area, or quit the server. Call it in, make a ticket, get away, get it stopped. It should not be happening in public, or even in private if you are there being forced to observe against your will.
But between two or more players
privately, all consenting, it's your choice. We're all grown-ups here - just be careful, kind and sensible with each other. Be mindful of the fact that people sometimes change their minds, too. Agreeing at the start does not mean they cannot stop or say no later. OOC/me and the steps above, is always an option.
Finally the question of '
consenting rape RP'.
Yes, it's potentially abhorrent to some people, and if done '
just for shizzles and jollies', then personally I would agree that it ain't my cup of tea either. But if done in private, between consenting adults, then it's a 'personal private business' thing, as per the paragraphs just above about any other form of consensual sexual RP. However, no-one else should ever be seeing it, or even know, so if you're thinking of doing it in public just to get your rocks off, think again.
There is one last variation, and that is roleplayed rape which is done
purely for drama - to establish the most heinous of crimes as a
plot-line, to provide a basis for a story arc that will later involve revenge, retribution, ostracisation, hatred, and maybe even murder of the attacker, down the line. We're talking bona fide '
Rape in Fiction' type of thing here. If BOTH parties on the opposite sides of that drama are 100% consenting (
and this consent may have been worked out either in advance, and the whole thing planned as an RP story, or granted 'on-the-fly' in response to someone proposing or advancing the line of RP during an unexpected encounter), then it can continue and be acted out -
not for sexual gratification, but for art, acting, drama.
Same rules apply about observers having the option to get away from it, or demand it stops in OOC/me. Same rules apply if either side of that drama storyline changes their mind - OOC/me to make it stop, and if it continues thereafter, it's bannable by the idiot who carries it on.
Some may disagree that the final variation should be allowed, but you have adequate scope for never ever having to encounter it or see it or be involved, via all the methods listed above. There are valid reasons why - for dramatic purposes only - such subjects can be fundamental to believable roleplay or storylines. I've mentioned to a few folks OOC about the TV show 'Sons of Anarchy', Series Two, where the motorcycle-gang president's wife is raped in the first episode, and the entire series hangs on the fallout from that situation. It's an eye-opening, thought-provoking, very brave series, and personally I think it should be 'recommended education' for anyone wondering what rape does to people IRL. It's harrowing, and heart-wrenching, full of consequences, conflicts, and frustrations, but ultimately, it is the best portrayal of the human side of the impact of rape, I think I have ever seen. There are other films and TV shows that cover it (
see that Rape in Fiction link again for reference) - some better than others - but the point is, sometimes, done right, the 'acting out' of a rape scene is a massive dramatic impetus for a whole raft of follow-up scenes and encounters which would simply just not work so 'dramatically', if the first action had been 'implied' or done off screen. Audiences react to the experience in a way that is far more visceral and real than if it had been relayed to them off screen.
That said - remember, we are all
ACTORS here.
You are not your character and your character is not you. If you can't separate the two, you shouldn't be here. Of course 'you' (the actor) probably likes to win the odd gritty encounter here and there, and to participate in the gamey side of things, and the fun, and the hi-jinks, the murder and mayhem... but it's not YOU in the game itself. Your character is a fictional construct, and not a representation of yourself. This is what enables you to be able to bale out and know that the other people are (or should be) just acting too. It's not real. Don't take it home with you; don't have nightmares about it. If that's happening, get professional help. This place is meant to be fun, sometimes thought-provoking, sometimes even a bit scary (in a horror-movie/gangster-movie kinda way), but it is
not meant to mentally scar you, and
if you cannot take it, you should stop.
Final reminder -
you never have to be involved in rape RP or sexual RP of any kind, if you do not wish to be. Just OOC/me, make it stop and/or get out of it, get help. It's that simple.
Beyond that, you do not have the power to make other consenting people stop murdering each other (
sometimes without consent, or even having to check), or doing any of the
other terrifying and horrible things to each other that are just as likely to give certain people IRL flashbacks or remind them of past sufferings.
This is a Serious Roleplay server for mature adults. If some things are allowed, but others disallowed, simply on the basis that some sub-section of people find it traumatic, then that's remarkably hypocritical, if those same people are quite happily roleplaying murder, mayhem, kidnapping and torture, without a second thought.
That said, we will always listen to reasoned, rational debate, and nothing is automatically set in stone forever, and if it becomes obvious that something is really not working, we will change it.
Remember when debating this subject, be mindful that some people here have suffered rape first-hand, others have experienced its effects through their partners or friends, so show restraint, and be kind. Similarly, even if you have strongly felt views on the subject (either way), we will not tolerate any kind of name-calling, deliberate misquoting or taking things out of context to defame,
ad hominem attacks, etc. Keep things balanced, be nice to each other and recognise that human experience and tolerances span a very wide range.
