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Just wondering if i could get some opinions on a track im making

Hey all. i would love to get your opinions on a track im making. Even if you dont like it then please let me know. thanks all 







oh here are the rough lyrics but its not word for word 
 
LIFE BEEN WAY TO STRANGE
LIKE MEETING PEOPLE
SOME SANE 
SOME DERANGED 
MY LIFE WAS NEVER REALLY FULL OF MONEY 
BUT NY NAN HAD A HUSBAND
WHO TOOK US TO PLACES THAT WERE ALWAYS SUNNY AND 
HE WAS A BIT OF A WEIRDO 
SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JUST CREEPED US OUT 
THING IS NONE OF MY FAMILY WOULD EVER SAY IT ALOUD

BUT LIFE WAS FINE AND WENT TO SCHOOL LIKE EVERY OTHER KID. 
NO GANSTER LIFE. LIKE I SAID. I WAS A SCHOOL KID.AND BY THE SOUND OF MY ACCENT
YOU PROBABLY KNEW THIS 
MOVED AROUND SHIT LOADS 
NO POINT IN MAKING FREINDS SO I DIDNT WANNA GET TO CLOSE
BUT I KNEW A KID SINCE I WAS IN JUNIOR SCHOOL 
EVERY HOLIDAY I WOULD SPEND THERE I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD COOLJ                                                                                          
BUT BEFORE THE AGE OF 18 WE LOST TOUCH 
STILL APPRECIEATED THE BEST MATE I HAD IN MY CHILDHOOD 
THAT MEMORY IS LOCKED 

BUT I GOT SOME SICK FRIENDS THAT I KNOW WILL NEVER GO. 
ITS PART OF GAMING ON THE PC AND CONSOLES
THAT THRILL OF TEAM WORK OR SOME HANS SOLO
NOW IF YOU GOT THAT THEN YOU DEFINATLY KNWO ME 
BUT IF NOT THEN FEAR NOT COS THIS IS MY SONG
I CALL IT 

 LIFE STORY  

THIS IS MY LIFE STORY
SHOWING EVERYTHING
NOT MADE UP NOT PRETEND 

THIS IS MY LIFE STORY 
SOMETHIMNG JUST TO BE TOLD 
SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW   
  
 
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It's making me dizzy when listening on headphones, maybe worth toning down the oscillation on that a bit.

Other than that its very good, I was expecting some awful techno/trance stuff so it's a nice surprise to find something I could actually listen to on my down time.

Good job chap

(Although you might want to listen to people who actually know a thing about music production, I'm just a consumer)

 
Try to lower the music volume, not a lot just a tiny bit maybe 5%-10%. Your voice has to be louder than the music.

The music in itself is pretty good but I'd suggest working on the chorus due to it being pretty much the same the whole way through, I'd suggest getting up a big fat rhyme/synonym dictionary and using that for word choices. Else very good work tbh, better than some of the music on the radio nowadays

 
hey Lemmen!. yeah i turned down the music a bit but the chorus is not what im actually going to use as i want to add more lyrics to it but its just a gap preview for now. But this is great! opinions! all taken on board (as soon as the first comment came on i changed the bouncing from left to right on the heaphones) you wouldnt believe how much i love the feedback. thank you all so much. 

 
Keep us posted, you're not bad

You mic is though so buy a proper one, maybe not one to like a 1000 quid but just one to like 50 which has good quality <3

 
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lol it cost me 60 quid. its a condensor mic. its good but i need to get noise reduction stuff. 
You go girl, next time you look like a dumbass singing into a computer (nohate <3) Try to be more "into" it instead of sounding all relaxed the whole way through if you can understand what i mean

 
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