Unban Appeal - lizabooskiee_unban2 - GTA RP

[lizabooskiee_unban2]

Unban Appeal for lizabooskiee_unban2 

In-game Name: Emily Akinson

Server: GTA RP

Steam ID: 76561199170228064

Ban ID: unknown

Reason given for your ban: c 1.6

In your own words, please type why you think you were banned.: Hello, hope you're well. It has been a long 6 months since my previous appeal, and a year and a half since my ban. https://www.roleplay.co.uk/topic/147635-unban-appeal-lizabooskieeunban-gta-rp/#comment-840144. In this appeal I expressed how much I've changed as a person, and apologized for the mistakes I've made, not only about what I said to staff, but what I said to other members of the community.

Why should we unban you ?: I have continued to think about everything that's happened and reflect on it completely. Which is why I originally wanted to wait to appeal until I was sure I could be a better person than I had previously been. I reached out to those affected by my actions. I realized how hurtful the things I said were, and could be seen from others. I understood what I had done, and I did my best to amend it. I don't want to be seen as a toxic and horrid person, and I know that's exactly what I had made myself out to be. Through talking with the people who were affected, I've gained insight on how I acted wrong and I made a promise to myself that I would never fall into that mindset again.

Since my last appeal, I joined RedM and got to associate with those in the community that I hadn't for so long, and it made me miss the server quite a lot. I know my words deserved punishment, and being banned was one, but I will admit that being completely shut out of the community was a deeper punishment. It was one that truly opened my eyes to my wrong doing. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but further thinking and going back and looking at what I said, I was indirectly doing so. I believe I followed through with my promise, however it wouldn't be me who can tell you that, as those around me would be the best to ask.
I know when I got banned, I was a more impressionable person, as I was younger and still relatively new to the rp scene. I wanted to fit in with a group and threw my morals out the window. As I've had more time and have aged a bit, I have taken the time to consciously work on my mindset and thought process of ‘fitting in’ and finding who I am and who I'd like to be. RPUK was my first roleplay experience, and with that I had made mistakes like so many do (my mistake being a much bigger one). I've since roleplayed on other servers and gained more experience in that regard. Being around other people who were nothing like the people I was around, showed me that I didn't have to try to ‘fit in’ to be accepted, but that I can be who I am without the negativity I brought and still be welcomed into the right groups. I learned that being part of a ‘bigger/stronger’ group wasn't worth destroying my morals and self worth.

Previous to my time in Vagos, I was a much more positive and sweeter individual. I never said anything so insensitive and callous. I was consistent with my roleplay, and my true personality brought joy and laughter to my roleplay, and friendships OOC. I brought a positive, friendly, goofy attitude. People enjoyed being around me, though I know I ruined that towards the end. Which is why I've worked on proving I'm not the person I made myself out to be.

Should I be unbanned, I would be willing to accept any guidelines I should be given. I hope re-appealing again can be a testament to me caring about the community and wanting to come back. A lot of what i want to say, would be repeated from my last appeal, in which i can only finish this one, without complete repetition, by saying again, to those i hurt and to those I haven't had the chance to apologize to, i am truly truly sorry. That I make the same promise to you, that if given a second chance, I will never make the same mistake because I never want to bear the responsibility of knowing that I was the person who said such things again. I will stay true to myself. I very much hope you can see that I write with complete sincerity, and accept me back with some trust that I would not repeat what I've done. I am open to answer any questions you may have for me. Thank you.

Please confirm that you have read the unban appeal process and rules: Yes

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Good afternoon @lizabooskiee_unban2

I hope all is well today  

From reading this it seems like you taken a lot of time to put thought and effort in to this appeal as well as your last one. I would just like to go over some things with you. 

I will go over these bit by bit 

How have you been reflecting on your past actions? 
What made you say these things in the first place knowing how hurtful and damaging they can be? 
What would stop you from falling back in to this mindset? 
What has your roleplay been like while playing RedM? 
What is to stop you from breaking your promise to your self and throwing your morals away again? 
 

 

[lizabooskiee_unban2]

All is great! Hope youre well also!

Thank you for your response. As for your questions i'll answer them bit by bit as well

“How have you been reflecting on your past actions?”

I have taken a deeper look at what I had said. At the time I was not looking at the bigger picture, I had thought about how comfortable everyone was with saying said things, thinking it must not have been as big a deal as I have grown up knowing, I convinced myself that it was alright for me to say as well. 2 years ago I would have never pictured myself saying what I said. Once I got banned it was an eye opener, flashing big bold bright lights in my head that I had been sorely mistaken. I took a look at how I had been, how I was currently, and how i'd like to be. I told myself I wouldn't say those words anymore. Even when people would joke around with me and say things like “Sure you won't” or “I don't believe it” I confirmed to them that it was something I was serious about, and that I shouldn't have ever let myself say them in the first place. I had a goal of being a better person. There have been many jokes through the last year and a half about how i was, and with being so disappointed with myself, it has made me more ashamed. I can't believe I was the person to say those things. I mean that sincerely. I really have been so disgusted with myself. I have never thought of myself as someone who would demean or diminish someone to make others laugh or to ‘be cool’. In fact I have always been someone who actively defends those who are in those shoes. Even if it meant I looked like an asshole to those trying to be funny. I let myself down. I will not be that person again. 

“What made you say these things in the first place knowing how hurtful and damaging they can be?”

This will tread back to me hearing how comfortable others were with saying said things. I have grown up with the mindset and thought process of it being wrong to say those things. In a very cut and dry aspect, with no area for misinterpretation. Where I'm from, these are not things that are said without punishment. There were jokes in a previous gang I had been in, although no one had said the word, and then I went to Vagos, and everyone was so lax in how they spoke. Everyone was laughing and just seemed to be having fun. I wanted to fit in and not be an outcast as it seemed so common for people to make these jokes and say these things. Constantly hearing “americans are snowflakes”, i didn't want to be that. Throwing my morals out of the way, I slowly started to speak like that as well 

“What would stop you from falling back into this mindset?”

I have been surrounded by great people for the last year and a half. They are wonderful people who joke and have fun without having it all be at the expense of others. The main thing though stopping me, would be that like i said i've grown very disappointed and angry and disgusted with myself for what i had been saying and how i let myself be. Although I could never put myself fully into the other person's shoes, I have done my best to get as close as I could. Hearing how hurtful these things can be, and speaking to people who were offended and upset and hearing from their point of view how diminishing it is to their past, present, and future, progressed my disgust in myself. Pushing me towards making the decision to stop being how I was.

“What has your roleplay been like while playing RedM?”

My roleplay on RedM has been quite a lot of fun and I'd say with being around such wonderful people, it has been so enjoyable. I've seen some people from RPUK, and the interactions were always positive. Roleplay wise I started my time off joining a family of doctors and lawmen, bringing me to being a doctor for a month or so, then switching to being a Barber after a short time, which allowed me to continue being a doctor, but an illegal one. Creating a hideout and providing fun, goofy, and when needed serious RP with the lawmen, and other criminals coming about to be involved during missions. I got to ride across the map and meet people from all parts and partake in a wide variety of activities and scenarios. I have taken RP more seriously as well, ive grown to be quite fond of the full RP experience rather than just fighting. Taking my losses and trying to turn them into funny situations for not just myself but others. 

What is to stop you from breaking your promise to yourself and throwing your morals away again?” 

This i feel ties into my response to the 3rd question you asked. More so, I've never been one to enjoy hurting people. I like to be as friendly, outgoing, and respectful as I can be. It takes quite a lot for me to be upset. Even then I have a hard time being mean, and feel guilty for what I do say. I am a very empathetic and sympathetic person, and I know so many people would tell you that same thing. Knowing I hurt people by my own words ruined me for a while. I ended up in a really bad spot mentally, out of guilt for the pain I put on others. I never want to put someone in that spot again. I really am truly so sorry for hurting people. I really never wanted to do that, and I really wish I had thought about what I was saying more. I have respect for the past and believe it can lead to a better future. I believe this has done just that. Provided for change, to be a better person and to be able to teach others that what I had done, is not the way to go. Hurting people is never the answer.

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Hello @lizabooskiee_unban2

All is well thank you  

The people in your life making the joke that say "I don't believe it". Are these people that play on the server and people you would interact with on a day to day basis? 
You say you have been reaching out to the people you have wronged, how has that been with the people you have reached out to so far and is this something you will continue on doing with anyone you have left to reach out to? 
What is making you want to return to RPUK? 
You have claimed that you are not one to hurt others. You must be seeing now how hurtful the things you said must be to others? How can I trust for certain that you have indeed learnt from this? 

 

 

[lizabooskiee_unban2]

Hello @Jessie Bennett

Im glad to hear that!

They are indeed people on the server, and some I would be interacting with on a day to day basis. A lot of the great people who I have been around the last year and a half, met me AFTER seeing what I had done. I had to prove to them that I had learned and that I was not the way I portrayed myself to be. They realized that I hadn't made any discriminatory comments since, or said the words, and they stopped making the “I don't believe it” jokes. I have reached out to the affected and their reactions aligned with those who would make jokes--the not believing that I'd do better, and me showing them i have learned. Most of which informed me how dumb it was that I did it in the first place and that they knew better from me. 

I will continue reaching out to those I've hurt, that would be a goal of mine. I’ve expressed my apologies through my appeals but ideally, i would like to give a personal message to everyone, however in some cases i've been unable due to privacy preferences which i respect. And those that I know personally, I have contacted directly. 

I want to come back to RPUK because I enjoyed being in the community, experiencing the roleplay provided by the people on it, and the friendships I gained. I put a lot of effort into the roleplay of my character. My character created a storyline that involved quite a lot of roleplay regarding civ life and the gang experience– I enjoyed making Emily the character she is. Trying to find her rightful spot on the server, she experienced fights, wars, finding ways to make money, chases with police, and of course prison life. I don't believe a server is just “great” by the activities that are on it, but by the people who are involved in it. So to answer it as shortly as i can, the people and the stories are what draw me back. 

I know I hurt people, which is how I can also tell you that I don't want to be that person because it's not who I am. Given the chance I am confident that I will prove this to you

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Good afternoon @lizabooskiee_unban2

What quality of roleplay can you bring to RPUK? 
What character development will you be looking at now considering the circumstances? 
Is there anyone from your pervious friend group still on RPUK that could influence you to go back down the same path? 

 

[lizabooskiee_unban2]

Good morning @Jessie Bennett!

Thanks for your response!

I will bring high quality roleplay to RPUK. I have more experience now than i did then with roleplay and even with my losses I've learned that there are plenty of avenues i can take the roleplay regardless of the circumstances. Previously i would say my roleplay was still being developed, and it was difficult towards the last few months to really start getting into proper roleplay as it seemed it was just constant fighting/warring. While there is roleplay involved in that, i would say I've definitely gained a lot of experience via RedM in other types of roleplay, which was needed. 

There are different avenues i could take my roleplay, depending on the situation at hand when i come back. I am not sure if I'm still in prison for life, as I was banned 2 hours before my court appearance. From what i can guess, ill still be in prison and have to roleplay through the court system again. With the server developments/changes, it will be pretty similar to someone coming out of prison irl after being in for a long time. There are quite a few changes added, and it will be like re-learning how to live a normal life. I do know i do not plan on joining any gangs or any factions for a while after being back. Id like to just get back to my friends and actually building a post-prison reformed storyline for her.

There is no one from Vagos that i still associate with however a good few of my previous friends from other gangs are in Cypress. As well as the new friends i made since being banned. I would like to clarify that even if they were still around, i can assure you id not be influenced down the same path, as that has been a huge lessoned learned, and those are people i would avidly avoid. 

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Hello @lizabooskiee_unban2

I hope all is well today  

What would you differently if you met people who were like that old friend group? 
How would you earn the trust of the staff team and the player base again? 
Given that your character did not know of the group Cypress (as they were not around during the time of your ban) what would one of your plans be for your roleplay if you were to return to the server? 

 

[lizabooskiee_unban2]

Hello @Jessie Bennett

I am doing great! Hope you're well.

My goal is to never find myself associated with people like that again. Should i be made aware or find myself in that situation, i know what the correct channels are. 

I genuinely feel like I'm not a risk to the community, I've taken every step i could imagine to amend my wrongdoings and followed all guidelines laid out to me. I'm not sure what else i can do, but i hope my replies through this appeal have given the staff team enough confidence in me, to give me a second chance to truly prove myself in the community as i feel that's the only real way to show to you that i am not who i portrayed myself to be. 

I do have a lot of plans if i do get unbanned, but since you mentioned Cypress i will say this, although naturally Emily doesn't know about Cypress, a lot of people in that group were close friends with my character long before i went to prison. I do want to resume roleplay with characters in the group and if that leads to Emily joining the group eventually so be it, but i assure you that the roleplay will be quality and happen naturally as i expect no special treatment from the people in that group. 

I do have plans to make an NHS character as i have enjoyed being a doctor on RedM, id like to give it a shot on RPUK. I know the roleplay i can provide in that aspect would be very high quality as I already have months of experience in a similar role.

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Good evening @lizabooskiee_unban2

I have been thinking about this for the last 2 days. I have been going round thinking where to go from here and I thought maybe a fresh start would be a good choice but I also like the idea of you roleplaying your prison sentence and adjusting to life after prison. So I am going to go with a "happy medium" as some might say. 

Your return to the server would come with some conditions.
1) Emily would be "locked" for 3 months, this means you do not log in to Emily for 3 months, if you do log on to Emily you will be back here. After the 3 months you can then start with the prison roleplay.
2) You are also to make a character to join a legal faction, that being Police/NHS /G6 /Park rangers. This is so you can and do explore both legal and illegal sides of roleplay
3) Any bans you receive in the next 6 months will come with a 6 month cool down. 

Do you agree to the conditions listed above? 

 

[lizabooskiee_unban2]

I absolutely agree to the conditions. Thank you for the opportunity to come back!

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Good evening @lizabooskiee_unban2

Thank you for your attitude, patience and detailed responses, it has not gone unnoticed. This appeal has had a lot of time put in to it to see if you had truly learnt from this, from your past appeal, this appeal and you reaching out to the people that were hurt/ damaged/ targeted I can see that you are remorseful for your actions. With you taking accountably and making amendments to the people that were hurt I am happy to let you back on to the server and give you the "golden opportunity" 

Now as listed above you still have your conditions, these being 
1) Emily would be "locked" for 3 months, this means you do not log in to Emily for 3 months, if you do log on to Emily you will be back here. After the 3 months you can then start with the prison roleplay. I will be checking this over the next 3 months 
2) You are also to make a character to join a legal faction, that being Police/NHS /G6 /Park rangers. This is so you can and do explore both legal and illegal sides of roleplay
3) Any bans you receive in the next 6 months will come with a 6 month cool down. 

Do not waste this or throw this opportunity back in my face. 

Any bans within the next 6 months will bring you back here. 

This unban account will be C1.6'd and you will be able to return to your original account - https://www.roleplay.co.uk/profile/74443-lizabooskiee/  (this will take a little bit of time to update, please give t his a few days) 
Unbanned. 

 

 

[Jessie Bennett]

Welcome Back!

Now that you’ve been unbanned don’t forget to give our rules a thorough read over again here.

Please note unbans on the server are instant and you will be able to connect straight away.

Additionally, to get more involved with the community join our Steam Group and Discord!

Steam Group: RPUK Steam Group

Discord: RPUK Discord