It is 100% the way. From experience, I can tell it's just words. She knows it works to keep you there so she'll carry on doing it. it's a hard decision to make but at the end of the day your mentality is at risk and if you don't try and stop it quick it can easily leave you in a worse state.
It is emotional abuse. I was in a similar situation around 7/8 months ago. But it was never physically in the house sort of thing. Do you live with her or is she just always over?
The tax itself is just for RP so the value changes from person to person but there are standards and the tax changes on what you're doing in the lands. But i do like the idea of the annual tax.